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This is my first time admitting this. Honestly. I’ve never really admitted to having trepidation before. I’d always say that I don’t like big crowds or that I’m just an introvert. It was easy for me to just be characterized as a ‘worrywart” and call it a day.
I knew, however, that deep down inside, there was more to it than that. I knew that there was more to the story than I was just a worrier or that I just felt uncomfortable around people. Breaking into sweats in the hallways at school or being on the verge of tears as I shop in the mall, is not a simple thing.
I didn’t even realize what was going on until it hit me while driving one day. I mean, I wasn’t like this as a kid. I had no issues talking to people or going to football games. I can remember going to Homecoming dances and prom. I went out on the weekends as a college student and attended concerts as a young adult.
“I mean, I wasn’t like this as a kid.”
Somewhere along the way, though, I started becoming worrisome and nervous around groups of people that I wasn’t familiar with. I hated going to get groceries or going to a game. If I did muster up the courage to go somewhere, I’d easily find a quiet corner to hang out in and pray that someone I knew would come and keep me company.
Going through this led me to perform some research on how I could calm myself in these situations. There’s meditation, essential oils, medicine…so much information. I quickly became overwhelmed with all that the internet had to offer on this. How in the name of mumbo jumbo, was I going to figure something out about what I had going on and, more importantly, how was I going to make changes in my life to support it?
I knew that I did not want to permanently be on a prescription so, that left me with choices that would be considered more holistic. Meditation, yoga, essential oils, retraining the neural pathways in my brain…😱 Oh my!
Being a science teacher, research is my jam so, when it came to researching options that I thought would work for me, I was on it. I tried meditating.
Anyone who is newbie to meditation will know how difficult it can prove to be. For someone like me, a borderline multitasker who struggles with focusing, having to sit there for a set period of time is already a struggle. I have gotten better with practice…when I remember to practice.
Yoga is also a go-to for me. I love the idea of contorting my body in all of these beautiful poses. Notice that I said “idea” because, getting into downward dog can be a no-go for me sometimes. I have noticed though, that when I practice yoga consistently, I do feel more even keeled. My emotions and moods don’t spike as much and I feel a blanket of calm through out the day.
The amazing thing about essential oils is that they can be integrated into any other practice that I choose. If I choose to meditate, I can put Peace and Calming or Grounding on my wrists and behind my ears to help support my practice. If my meditation involves affirmations, I like to use Abundance. In my yoga practice, I often use Acceptance or Believe. The goal is to support the purpose or intention I have for this practice and that day.
“I still deal with trepidation.”
I still deal with trepidation. There are still times when I get sweaty or clammy when going into small spaces with a lot of people. The difference now is that I know that I can grab an oil (I love Valor for this!), rub it on my wrist, and inhale deeply to calm myself down. I can incorporate the skills that I learned in my meditation or, if possible, I can go into my favorite yoga pose (not downward dog) and bring myself back to myself.
Maybe it’s the deep breathing. Maybe it’s the amazing smell of the oils. Maybe it’s the blood rushing to my brain in downward dog (you see how I keep coming back to that?). Either way, I love being able to provide myself with the emotional support that I need when I need it. Naturally.
If you want to join me on this amazing journey of mine, just let me know or you can visit my site for more information.